beautiful disaster

In the past few weeks I have...

1. Beaten everyone except Kenneth at pool on Ben's pool table
2. Spread my germs to practically everyone who has come within a 5-m radius of me
3. Managed not to blab who's running for head prefect. Though now I can tell you: they are Maggy, Louisa, Kaye, Limin and Steph (I think that's it)
4. Been convinced to go for Gala Night, yet another farewell party for the graduating class
5. Realised I will miss MG
6. Felt intensely grateful to all the teachers who put up with my nonsense over these past 4 years
7. Watched Pearl Harbor and actually enjoyed it (it was revision for history!)
8. Decided on my subject combination: math, econs, history and lit, and am currently doubting my choice of doing arts considering the fact that I barely got an a1 for lit and only got an a1 for SS/Hist because they moderated
9. Decided to go for Talentime even though it is two days before my written papers (are you CRAZY, Jac?)
10. Learnt how to use my digital camera (stop rolling your eyes, Zhen)

5 weeks to end of O'Levels.

Haven't you heard, Jac, that counting down to something only makes time pass even slower?

I'm scared. I cry out to God every day. It's so hard to trust that He'll give me what I want because He never said He'd give me everything I want. And that's exactly why I should trust Him because I don't know what's best for me and if I want 6 points even though it may be bad for me in the long run and He gives me 6 points that would mean He's just easily swayed by public opinion the way politicians in democratic countries are.

But God doesn't listen to anyone. And I don't have to listen to anyone but Him with regards to how I should view myself. And He tells me to see myself as His beloved child.

jac was here with you 10/19/2004 05:31:00 pm

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My Destiny
Psalm 46 (NASB)
God is our refuge and strength,
A very present help in trouble.
Therefore we will not fear, though the earth should change
And though the mountains slip into the heart of the sea;
Though its waters roar and foam,
Though the mountains quake at its swelling pride.

There is river whose streams make glad the city of God,
The holy dwelling places of the Most High.
God is in the midst of her, she will not be moved;
God will help her when morning dawns.
The nations made an uproar, the kingdoms tottered;
He raised His voice, the earth melted.
The Lord of hosts is with us;
The God of Jacob is our stronghold.

Come, behold the works of the Lord,
Who has wrought desolations in the earth.
He makes wars to cease to the end of the earth;
He breaks the bow and cuts the spear in two;
He burns the chariots with fire.
"Cease striving and know that I am God;
I will be exalted among the nations, I will be exalted in the earth."
The Lord of hosts is with us;
The God of Jacob is our stronghold.