beautiful disaster

"AIYEEEEEEE!!!!"

Witness Gilly's dismayed scream outside the staffroom as she catches sight of me. A nuclear explosion occured in my hair while I was asleep but oddly, I didn't feel a thing.

"Why is this section poofing up more than that one? Are you sure you went to the right hairdresser??" she cries. Meet Gilly, my personal stylist. I love her.

I've been reading a book she lent me called Everybody's Normal Until You Get To Know Them, by John Ortberg, and it's talking about lonely people and how people put up defenses in order to prevent themselves from getting hurt. What's your defense? Attack, or withdraw?

Mine's withdraw. I withdraw from others so there will be no chance of me being hurt. If you don't get close to someone you won't be able to get hurt.

But sometimes you have to get hurt.

There are some people whom the book terms 'porcupines'. These are people who don't allow people to come too close to them--once you get too close, they stab you, just like porcupines.

I think everyone's someone else's porcupine. I can think of how I've been a porcupine to many people because of my fear of getting hurt. I can think of many times when someone has gotten too close and I've stabbed. Sometimes it just comes automatically.

I thank God, though, that some people don't mind getting hurt. That they bravely venture forward to coax me and tame me and show me how they don't mean any harm and slowly gain my trust.

I have a few porcupines in my life, and many times I try to reach out to them but withdraw out of fear. I wish I could be brave enough to touch them, because deep inside, I would know how they feel--how they need a friend in this lonely world.

We were made for companionship. Honey, we don't come by ourselves.

jac was here with you 8/30/2004 03:19:00 pm

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My Destiny
Psalm 46 (NASB)
God is our refuge and strength,
A very present help in trouble.
Therefore we will not fear, though the earth should change
And though the mountains slip into the heart of the sea;
Though its waters roar and foam,
Though the mountains quake at its swelling pride.

There is river whose streams make glad the city of God,
The holy dwelling places of the Most High.
God is in the midst of her, she will not be moved;
God will help her when morning dawns.
The nations made an uproar, the kingdoms tottered;
He raised His voice, the earth melted.
The Lord of hosts is with us;
The God of Jacob is our stronghold.

Come, behold the works of the Lord,
Who has wrought desolations in the earth.
He makes wars to cease to the end of the earth;
He breaks the bow and cuts the spear in two;
He burns the chariots with fire.
"Cease striving and know that I am God;
I will be exalted among the nations, I will be exalted in the earth."
The Lord of hosts is with us;
The God of Jacob is our stronghold.