beautiful disaster

Someday we'll trust Him and learn how to see Him / Someday He'll call us and we will come running / And fall in His arms; the tears will fall down and we'll pray / "I want to fall in love with You."

Feel like I'm on this uphill struggle to knowing God and falling in love with Him all over again. Monday I started out great, with this huge desire to know Him more and not let obstacles get in the way. Then as the week passed by it just got so overwhelming, the distractions. I hung on the best I could and He reminded me that I have His strength to use. Last week really was good.

But today everything just started to crumble. It seems like everything I do, everytime i try to give my all and love Him the best I can it's never enough and I can't let go of the temporal things I cling on to. It was so discouraging; I was in despair.

I spent some time with Him today. It was good. I read Ephesians, about how Paul prayed that the Ephesians may have the power to know the fulness of Christ's love for us. I want to know that love. I'm beginning to rediscover that love. The knowledge that He loves me and wants me to know Him and seek Him even more than I want to helps me realise that He's for me, that He's working with me to discover His love. It's like I'm climbing up a hill and using a rope attached to the summit to work my way up, and He's holding on to the rope at the summit, pulling it as I cling on to it, helping me get up. Like a super-strong Spider-man. :)

(P.S. I watched Spider-man 2. It was well worth my $8.50; it didn't disappoint.)

jac was here with you 7/11/2004 07:54:00 pm

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My Destiny
Psalm 46 (NASB)
God is our refuge and strength,
A very present help in trouble.
Therefore we will not fear, though the earth should change
And though the mountains slip into the heart of the sea;
Though its waters roar and foam,
Though the mountains quake at its swelling pride.

There is river whose streams make glad the city of God,
The holy dwelling places of the Most High.
God is in the midst of her, she will not be moved;
God will help her when morning dawns.
The nations made an uproar, the kingdoms tottered;
He raised His voice, the earth melted.
The Lord of hosts is with us;
The God of Jacob is our stronghold.

Come, behold the works of the Lord,
Who has wrought desolations in the earth.
He makes wars to cease to the end of the earth;
He breaks the bow and cuts the spear in two;
He burns the chariots with fire.
"Cease striving and know that I am God;
I will be exalted among the nations, I will be exalted in the earth."
The Lord of hosts is with us;
The God of Jacob is our stronghold.