beautiful disaster

Had an interesting thought about God's love.

I painted my toenails black over the holidays. Partly to cover up my black toenail so everyone would stop looking at it, partly to match my pretty black C&K heels and partly because I was bored and vain.

My mum got me to take them off. (That, and the fact that I saw in the school diary that we're actually not even allowed to wear nail polish on our toenails.)

She didn't get me take them off by yelling at me or nagging at me about them. She just asked me one day, "When are you taking those off?"

I stared at them. "Soon. Why?"

She looked at me. "Do you have to wear them?"

I always assumed that my mum was all right with me painting my nails, but as we talked I realised she didn't. Even though I've been painting my nails since, what, sec 2, and painting them any colour, at any time, at my whim and fancy, she doesn't like painted nails. I dunno. Maybe she doesn't like them all yellow after I take them off, but the point is she didn't like them. And she still let me paint my nails because I wanted to. She didn't nag or anything. I guess the most she did was look disapprovingly at me, even though I never noticed.

I guess black nails were the last straw. I guess she doesn't like her daughter walking around making everyone think she's on the throes of becoming a goth. (Hee.) So she told me she didn't like it, but it wasn't like I had no choice except to remove it. She just told me and I saw how bothered she was about it and I took them off.

It's a really simple, in fact somewhat silly, illustration of God's love. How He lets us have the free will to do whatever we want and still loves us even though we're disobeying Him. Still does things when we ask.

jac was here with you 1/22/2004 05:50:00 pm

My Destiny
Psalm 46 (NASB)
God is our refuge and strength,
A very present help in trouble.
Therefore we will not fear, though the earth should change
And though the mountains slip into the heart of the sea;
Though its waters roar and foam,
Though the mountains quake at its swelling pride.

There is river whose streams make glad the city of God,
The holy dwelling places of the Most High.
God is in the midst of her, she will not be moved;
God will help her when morning dawns.
The nations made an uproar, the kingdoms tottered;
He raised His voice, the earth melted.
The Lord of hosts is with us;
The God of Jacob is our stronghold.

Come, behold the works of the Lord,
Who has wrought desolations in the earth.
He makes wars to cease to the end of the earth;
He breaks the bow and cuts the spear in two;
He burns the chariots with fire.
"Cease striving and know that I am God;
I will be exalted among the nations, I will be exalted in the earth."
The Lord of hosts is with us;
The God of Jacob is our stronghold.