YDecisions
Charles & Keith end of season sale at Novena Square. Shoes staring from $5!!! Oh. My. Gosh. But tomorrow's the last day and they don't have my size. :P
Yes. Being a girly girl today ^^
Eve of the eve of Chinese New Year and I am just so glad for the break. Good time to a. study, b. rest, and c. think. Ooh, yeah. Think.
So I finally got Internet back, but it's a bit weird. Now Word is being temperamental and isn't allowing me to paste anything on it, which is really infuriating. Currently reading a book Daniel lent me called Having A Mary Heart in A Martha World. It's really good and I find I can relate to it really easily. About worry and having a servant's heart and basically making God the centre of your life, no matter how busy it is.
Learnt a few things about being a servant over the course of these few days. About not complaining and doing everything for God. About turning the other cheek when you feel as if you've been wronged.
I thought having a servant's heart would be easy but it really isn't. It's fine when you want to do the task, of course, but it's extremely hard to keep from complaining when you harbour inside you a deep-rooted feeling of injustice. God has revealed to me that I haven't truly let go of the matter and He's slowly teaching me to loosen my grip of the pride that seems to swallow me sometimes.
I learnt something new about seeking God's will while I was dealing with this servant's heart thing. (Everything's all interconnected, and guess what? It all cumulates in a decision I have yet to make.) It's funny. It's such a simple act that it tends to get overlooked in the course of seeking. Like the hidden number in the equation, the tiny mistake that produces the wrong answer.
When we seek God's will about making a decision, first of all we have to surrender the decision to Him. Which means that we have to tell God, "Okay, I have these options. I'm fine with any of them. You just tell me what to choose." Which sounds simple but actually isn't.
I know whenever I'm faced with a choice where the two options seem equally right I will always be partial to the one that benefits me more. Like hotcakes and sausage mcmuffin. Okay, actually I'll take both. But anyway, I've realised that I'll always have in mind the option that I want to choose, and that makes it harder to listen to what God wants me to do and harder to confirm that it is indeed what He wants because I'll always doubt.
I didn't really do anything to consciously surrender this decision to God. But I think back and I think it's just amazing, how one hour before I'd been ranting about never choosing one option, not going to give her the satisfaction, her problem, blah blah blah, and then later, after talking to my mum about it, whoa, I realised I wouldn't mind doing anything and all God had to do was to tell me.
Which I suppose should make making the decision easier, but that's another story.
jac was here with you
1/20/2004 08:04:00 pm