beautiful disaster

It's subsided into a dull ache now. No more searing pain, just an ache, but an ache tells you what you're missing, and an ache reminds you that things could be better and you could be happier.

It's in the silence that I notice the ache. It was always there but in the silence everything is stripped away and what is really inside you reveals itself. In the quietness of the day, all alone, I ache.

But this life isn't my own, and this ache I have doesn't come from missing something I have either. Everything I had was His anyway, but even then I don't know how to reconcile all of this. How can you be complete when you distinctly feel something is missing? But we are found and made complete in Christ, and so I am complete, even if I don't feel it.

I have been crucified with Christ and I no longer live, but Christ lives in me. The life I live in the body, I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave Himself for me.

jac was here with you 11/09/2005 10:52:00 am

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My Destiny
Psalm 46 (NASB)
God is our refuge and strength,
A very present help in trouble.
Therefore we will not fear, though the earth should change
And though the mountains slip into the heart of the sea;
Though its waters roar and foam,
Though the mountains quake at its swelling pride.

There is river whose streams make glad the city of God,
The holy dwelling places of the Most High.
God is in the midst of her, she will not be moved;
God will help her when morning dawns.
The nations made an uproar, the kingdoms tottered;
He raised His voice, the earth melted.
The Lord of hosts is with us;
The God of Jacob is our stronghold.

Come, behold the works of the Lord,
Who has wrought desolations in the earth.
He makes wars to cease to the end of the earth;
He breaks the bow and cuts the spear in two;
He burns the chariots with fire.
"Cease striving and know that I am God;
I will be exalted among the nations, I will be exalted in the earth."
The Lord of hosts is with us;
The God of Jacob is our stronghold.