beautiful disaster

Today I am at home, clattering at the keyboard, listening with one ear to Heavier Things and John Mayer's mellow, soothing tones, and with the other ear vaguely tracing the tinkling on my neighbour's piano next door.

Today I have finished a novel, planned for cell on Friday and am walking around with pedicure toe-dividers in order to stop my bunions from growing bigger, admiring my pretty plum toenails in the process.

There are two poems in front of me, a sonnet by Shakespeare and another sort-of sonnet by Carol Ann Duffy. We did them in PC class but I took them out because I feel like looking at them and reading them and trying to figure out which one most accurately fits my state of mind.

I smile as I remember yesterday's conversation over lunch with Sandra. She had been so dismissive of the unseen poem Debbie got for her lit exam, and I had gotten so agitated trying to get across to her that is wasn't just a load of rubbish about a garden being dug up, it was about what the garden meant to the man and his feelings towards it being dug up. I probably looked like a crazy fool in the midst of Novena food court.

I am thankful for the rest I have today, and for the fact that exams are over. I am bracing myself for tomorrow and whatever life is going to throw at me, because after you are removed from the vacuum of exams you have to confront all sorts of responsibilities and tasks you could have evaded with the excuse of exams.

Sonnet 50-something (according to Mr. Perry)
Shakespeare
Since I left you, mine eye is in my mind,
And that which governs me to go about
Doth part his function and is partly blind,
Seems seeing, but effectually is out;
For it no form delivers to the heart
Of bird, of flower, or shape, which it doth latch.
Of his quick objects hath the mind no part,
Nor his own vision holds what it doth catch;
For if it see the rud'st or gentlest sight,
The most sweet-favour or deformed'st creature,
The mountain, or the sea, the day or the night,
The crow, or dove, it shapes them to your feature.
Incapable of more, replete with you,
My most true mind thus mak'th mine eye untrue.

(Isn't it brilliant? Gosh.)

jac was here with you 10/10/2005 01:04:00 pm

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My Destiny
Psalm 46 (NASB)
God is our refuge and strength,
A very present help in trouble.
Therefore we will not fear, though the earth should change
And though the mountains slip into the heart of the sea;
Though its waters roar and foam,
Though the mountains quake at its swelling pride.

There is river whose streams make glad the city of God,
The holy dwelling places of the Most High.
God is in the midst of her, she will not be moved;
God will help her when morning dawns.
The nations made an uproar, the kingdoms tottered;
He raised His voice, the earth melted.
The Lord of hosts is with us;
The God of Jacob is our stronghold.

Come, behold the works of the Lord,
Who has wrought desolations in the earth.
He makes wars to cease to the end of the earth;
He breaks the bow and cuts the spear in two;
He burns the chariots with fire.
"Cease striving and know that I am God;
I will be exalted among the nations, I will be exalted in the earth."
The Lord of hosts is with us;
The God of Jacob is our stronghold.