beautiful disaster

So exams are over. And guess what I did Wednesday afternoon after CC meeting, when I was officially free? I fell asleep. Haha...what a waste of an afternoon. But it was a good sleep.

Went out with Ben, Jolene, Teri, Cheryl, Debbie and Joseph yesterday. They all came to help me look for a Founder's Day dress.

It was pretty fun. I found a nice gown from Daniel Yam (of all places; everyone told me not to get it from there because I end up with the same dress as someone else) but I don't know if I'll get it. Nevertheless, it cheered me up. I haven't gone to Orchard Road to have fun for soooo long! I loved the look on Ben's face whenever I went into a shoe shop instead of a dress shop. Like, "JAC! What are you DOING?! FOCUS!" Hahahaha...Never accompany a girl who hasn't gone shopping for a long time to Orchard Road.

Exams are over, and it's a little weird to actually have nothing to do. I told myself I'd start studying Chinese so I should. But it's actually the first Saturday when I don't have to sit down in the afternoon to mug.

I'm enjoying my new found freedom; I don't think I will be bored this June because as usual, there are school-things to do and church-things to do and friend-things to do. And there are also God-things to do.

I've been reading the Purpose-Driven Life by Rick Warren. It's a very good book and it's helped me in my walk. I guess one of the things that struck me was the part about how God can get bored with us sometimes. Like how He would prefer us to speak our mind instead of saying what we think we ought to say. In other words, how He would prefer us to be honest and sincere with Him instead of being hypocritical.

I'm guilty of that, I know. Sometimes I do care too much about what other people think and sometimes I do act 'holy' because I know I'm supposed to.

I've been thinking about worship and how I worship Him. I know there are times when I can't worship Him properly. Despite the fact that worship is supposed to be all about Him and nothing about us, sometimes I get too caught up with the things of this world to see how wonderful He is. And so I can't worship Him. And then because I'm expected to, I just do, which is basically lying, isn't it?

I guess, like everything else, it takes time, this relationship with a God you can't see but can feel. I want to know so much more of Him, but at the same time, I can't be bothered. Funny, isn't it?

Jeremiah 29:13-14.

jac was here with you 5/15/2004 03:20:00 pm

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My Destiny
Psalm 46 (NASB)
God is our refuge and strength,
A very present help in trouble.
Therefore we will not fear, though the earth should change
And though the mountains slip into the heart of the sea;
Though its waters roar and foam,
Though the mountains quake at its swelling pride.

There is river whose streams make glad the city of God,
The holy dwelling places of the Most High.
God is in the midst of her, she will not be moved;
God will help her when morning dawns.
The nations made an uproar, the kingdoms tottered;
He raised His voice, the earth melted.
The Lord of hosts is with us;
The God of Jacob is our stronghold.

Come, behold the works of the Lord,
Who has wrought desolations in the earth.
He makes wars to cease to the end of the earth;
He breaks the bow and cuts the spear in two;
He burns the chariots with fire.
"Cease striving and know that I am God;
I will be exalted among the nations, I will be exalted in the earth."
The Lord of hosts is with us;
The God of Jacob is our stronghold.