beautiful disaster

I skipped school today because I'm sick. There's this lump of phlegm in my throat that is making me feel horrible because i can't hack it out. It just sticks there. At least it's better than last night, though. I'd stayed back to help with the Dance Night decor and returned home at 9:30 pm with the vilest splitting headache. Had dinner and watched tv for the first time this week (American Idol--the last time i watched it was, what, a month ago?), and moaned and groaned to my parents (and Gilly) about how horrible I was feeling. And then I went to sleep, but not before telling my mum I didn't want to go to school the next day.

So I'm not in school! And I didn't have to drag myself out of my bed at 6 am in the morning and stumble like a drunkard to the bathroom to get ready! AHAHAHAHAHA!

But I have to go back to school this afternoon because it's Dance Night and I'm the runner. ("The runner!" My mum had exclaimed. "Where are you running to?") Which kinda sucks because I'd rather dance but because I was too stubborn and because of my op, I'm not dancing. (But then again, it would suck even more if I were dancing and fell sick, wouldn't it?)

So tonight is Dance Night, the night that all the dance girls (except I) have been waiting for. The Sec 4s' item, Sam's item and the alumni item are the ones to look out for, because they're really good. I've seen them all about a billion times and I really do feel proud of my friends, who've improved so much. I also feel a slight pang of envy as I watch them on the stage for the very last time in their secondary school life. Mrs. Ang (and every other single person) was right; it's my last year--wouldn't I want to make it memorable, wouldn't I want to dance? But no, I was too stubborn and stupid and fueled up in my anger (it's a long story) and so I refused to. And then I had to go for the op, which gave me no choice, so I couldn't dance...

As I watched my friends dance during tech and full dress I kicked myself mentally. I wanted to be up there. I should be up there.

Anyway, all that's past.

I'm looking forward to the end of this week. After Dance Night there's track & field meet (thank goodness I'm not a cheerleader either) and HC's humanities quiz (I'm in the audience). The humanities quiz sounds interesting and I am going, by hook or by crook. No lousy sickness is going to stop me. It's in a gameshow format, this mix of jeopardy and goodness know what else, so it should be quite interesting.

And after that....

One week of mugging and mid-years start. The funny thing is that I'm not really that concerned about mid-years. In the grand scheme of things, mid-years are insignificant compared to prelims and o's.

jac was here with you 4/16/2004 10:11:00 am

My Destiny
Psalm 46 (NASB)
God is our refuge and strength,
A very present help in trouble.
Therefore we will not fear, though the earth should change
And though the mountains slip into the heart of the sea;
Though its waters roar and foam,
Though the mountains quake at its swelling pride.

There is river whose streams make glad the city of God,
The holy dwelling places of the Most High.
God is in the midst of her, she will not be moved;
God will help her when morning dawns.
The nations made an uproar, the kingdoms tottered;
He raised His voice, the earth melted.
The Lord of hosts is with us;
The God of Jacob is our stronghold.

Come, behold the works of the Lord,
Who has wrought desolations in the earth.
He makes wars to cease to the end of the earth;
He breaks the bow and cuts the spear in two;
He burns the chariots with fire.
"Cease striving and know that I am God;
I will be exalted among the nations, I will be exalted in the earth."
The Lord of hosts is with us;
The God of Jacob is our stronghold.