beautiful disaster

So it rained today, putting to rest all my plans for a run.

So I went online today, and checked out my future, and swallowed down the fear I felt, looking right through it as if it had never been there.

Just that it was, and it is, and the fear I have of failure will never really go away, it seems, unless I take hold of something and let myself hang freely, trusting that if I fall I will land in green pastures.

Some days the fear is stripped away and I look out into space and time and see there the hope that was always meant to be. Then the air rushes past and everything gets too bright and my heart throbs in anticipation of this new world I will come to experience and see.

jac was here with you 6/16/2006 10:26:00 am

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My Destiny
Psalm 46 (NASB)
God is our refuge and strength,
A very present help in trouble.
Therefore we will not fear, though the earth should change
And though the mountains slip into the heart of the sea;
Though its waters roar and foam,
Though the mountains quake at its swelling pride.

There is river whose streams make glad the city of God,
The holy dwelling places of the Most High.
God is in the midst of her, she will not be moved;
God will help her when morning dawns.
The nations made an uproar, the kingdoms tottered;
He raised His voice, the earth melted.
The Lord of hosts is with us;
The God of Jacob is our stronghold.

Come, behold the works of the Lord,
Who has wrought desolations in the earth.
He makes wars to cease to the end of the earth;
He breaks the bow and cuts the spear in two;
He burns the chariots with fire.
"Cease striving and know that I am God;
I will be exalted among the nations, I will be exalted in the earth."
The Lord of hosts is with us;
The God of Jacob is our stronghold.