YClosing Time
Every new beginning comes from some other beginning's end.
It was so bittersweet, leaving the office today. It was just Betty--Karen and Elaine had said goodbye to me on Monday and Wednesday respectively because they wouldn't be seeing me on Friday--and she loathed to let go of me. I loathed to step out of that office as well, and leave the first place where I experienced true service to the kingdom of God and true love, uncluttered and free, of one another. As I walked to KAP to meet my friends for lunch, I realised all those times that Dad and Mum told me this is not what working life really is like, they were wrong. This really is what working life was meant to be. This is what God created it to be. Uncorrupted from ambition, selfless in service, generous in love. Along the way it is human nature which corrupted it and changed it to what it is now. This whole experience has set the tone for me. The example of Karen, Betty and Elaine have shown me how I should act when I start working (or maybe even now). A high ideal to live up to, but that is what ideals are for.
2004 has been a year of beginnings and ends for me. It's been so eventful. God has blessed me abundantly with material gifts as well as gifts of opportunity and experience and I have grown so much and learnt so much more about myself and about Him. It feels like I have done so much over the year--waited, rejoiced, wept, shared and loved. I don't regret a single experience I had. He has provided, spoken, disciplined and taught, and all this is a testament to His allsurpassing love.
I found a quote from C.S. Lewis while sorting through Pastor Gordon's files:
'To love at all is to be vulnerable. Love anything, and your heart will certainly be wrung and possibly be broken. If you want to make sure of keeping it intact, you must give your heart to no one, not even to an animal. Wrap it carefully around with hobbies and little luxuries; avoid all entablements; lock it up safe in the casket or coffin of your selfishness. But in that casket--safe, dark, motionless, airless--it will change. It will not be broken; it will become unbreakable, impenetrable, irredeemable. The alternative to tragedy, or at least to the risk of tragedy, is damnation. The only place outside Heaven where you can be perfectly safe from all dangers and perturbations of all love is hell.'
So, on the last day of the year, I have this urge to say a phrase that will not make much sense to anyone except the class of 4a4 2004.
Closing time, time for you to go out to the places you will be from.
Goodbye, year. It's been great knowing you :)
jac was here with you
12/31/2004 09:14:00 pm
YTomato Juice to Cure
Can you believe it? I'm suffering from shopping hangover, if there is such a thing.
Went out on Saturday to look for Christmas presents and OH MY GOSH the crowd is AMAZING. People rushing here and there looking for things, colours rushing into your head, numbers being flashed at you until your head goes dizzy and you forget how much 2 x 24 is. It's so scary. Next year I'm shopping for Christmas presents in October.
Going out again for a second try because I didn't get much the last time round. And I'm going alone because I figure I shop better alone. I wish there were this magic Christmas shopper who could help you buy all your Christmas presents and make sure your friends love the gifts you give them. What a fantastic idea. When I grow up, I'm going to set up a company for that.
In the midst of all the rushing I've been neglecting to do QT and it's funny, through that God taught me the importance of setting apart some time each day just to slow down. Friday through Sunday was filled with events--Ally's concert, Christmas shopping, dinner with cousins, ballet, cell, Sunday duty at CCMC (I'm never doing it ever again)--and when I finally slowed down on Monday I realised I was dead tired. It was so refreshing to be able to sit down and journal and just talk to God.
I realised even though I have been doing a lot of things this holiday I still feel that there are more things I could have done, like spend more time with my friends. It doesn't help that three whole weeks were wiped out because I was sick. But it doesn't help to feel pity for myself for not feeling fulfilled, because I know whatever has happened to me in this one and a half months is what God wanted to happen to me, and His plan is perfect.
(p.s. And I don't see what's so wrong with Luke and Lorelai. :P Though Jason is pretty nice.)
jac was here with you
12/21/2004 08:38:00 am
YRamblings of a CCMC Temp Staff
It's been a pretty slow day in the office so far, which is why I'm taking the risk to blog. There's no one in here except me, Betty the real admin person and the sink worker. Mr. Sink Worker's in here to finish up the new sink so the floral stewards can do their flowers in here on Saturday mornings. His polishing machine is the only sound in the office apart from the humming of the air conditioner and it's whining away like a persistent drill--probably because it is a drill.
The Secret: Mr. Sink Worker's polishing the countertop because I accidentally scratched it with the penknife while cutting out some labels two weeks ago. But they're not supposed to know that.
Right now I'm doing some printing. I have to make a template for the baptism certificates and you would think that's an easy task but it's not. At least the way I do it, it isn't. The baptism certificates are the sort of certificates that are mass-produced with lots of blanks to fill in by hand. Unfortunately, people's handwriting don't always look good on certificates, which is why, I assume, the church prints the Name, Sex, Birth Certificate No., Date of Birth, etc of the baptised. This requires a template, which in turn requires a whole lot of measuring to ensure the correct information gets printed in the right blank.
Now, things wouldn't be as hard as they are if Microsoft Word didn't measure their documents in inches. Unfortunately, they do, and this results in a lot of squinting on my part to make sure everything's right. It takes me 4 tries to get the template right and I feel very proud of my achievement.
I am on my way to becoming the Master Photocopier. Need anything photocopied? I can do it for you. A4-sized, enlarged, reduced, double-sided, stapled, punched (you can even choose the position of the staple and the angle at which it is stapled). It's quite fun, photocopying.
Christmas is coming and today I found myself humming Christmas carols as I went about doing my work. I was supposed to decorate the office but all of us forgot about it until this afternoon when Betty remembered during lunch. It's not that big a deal, though.
The only bit of the office I decorated was the Christmas day box on the big whiteboard calendar. It has a green tree with red and purple balls and an orange (because yellow is too light) star. Whiteboards are fun with multicoloured markers.
Oh, yes. And it's confirmed that I'm going for Hwa Chong for the first three months. Whoa.
jac was here with you
12/17/2004 01:46:00 pm
YThe Flu Checklist
When sick with the flu:
1. Don't go anywhere...please...or you will risk infecting someone like me who has the weakest constitution in the world (i thought constitution was, like, a political term) and make her stay at home for at least two weeks. :P (I am trying to obey this rule)
2. Take honey lemon water. Two dollops of honey, one slice of lemon, mix with hot water and cool with an ice cube. Don't put the spoon you used to taste the water back into the tub of honey.
3. Don't try to fake your voice so you sound normal. Your body isn't fooled.
4. Don't sing. Get a song that is ultra-hard to learn and try to play it on the guitar. It should keep you occupied.
5. Sleep. A lot.
Maybe I can go for camp tomorrow. I'm not getting my hopes up though. Never mind, if I don't I can watch Gilmore Girls.
jac was here with you
12/04/2004 05:04:00 pm
YLeft/Right and Twenty Seconds to Decide
I have noticed a very interesting trend lately regarding my decision-making route.
It's often something like this:
1. Confronted by decision and in a dilemma
2. Leaning towards one choice
3. Not sure if that choice is the right choice, so swing back to the middle road
4. Think I shouldn't be choosing that because it's what I want, therefore lean towards other choice
5. Very confused
6. Ask other people for advice and get even more confused
7. Sit on it for a long time, then
8. Make the decision at the very last moment, usually it turning out to be the first choice.
It's hard being me.
jac was here with you
12/02/2004 05:57:00 pm